I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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