i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
