Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
