we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
