Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
