If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
