I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize