You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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