Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
