I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
