shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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