You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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