Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
