Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Randomize