Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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