hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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