I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I have tasted many bathrooms
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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