i think i have two assholes
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
