somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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