glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
