But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i've created a new STD.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
