Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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