whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
