Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
