she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Another day, another engagement, another cat
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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