Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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