i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
