Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
