When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
