The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I am one with the molecules
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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