Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
did i just pee glitter
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
