mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
