I'm really into asian looking animals
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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