I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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