What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he shaved USA in his pubs
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
