Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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