True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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