i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I haven't been this sober since birth.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
