i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize