Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
