U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
