She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
tell me about the eggs
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
