he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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