Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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