Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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