watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
