i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
