we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
