I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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