You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
