I just made out with a guy for $7.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
