dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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