I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
