Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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