Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
