I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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