my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
