i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
