why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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