How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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