he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
