Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
