drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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