whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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