Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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